“sehr sub”

So we went to see "Cuci" this afternoon. I guess we needed it. It felt so good to really laugh! =) Hmm… He said that I was the only one laughing so hard AND loud. He caught me right there and then. Bit embarrased, but I was thinking that I AM SO GRATEFUL that I am able to laugh, to have real laughs. I don’t want to be those people who choke in their laughters so that they appear "sensible" or "normal". I’d prefer to act accrodingly - if you are in a formal setting, laughing out loud might be considered rude, but, hey! you are watching a comedy! Aren’t we supposed to laugh at the jokes? So there. I AM GLAD that I can laugh that good.

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Funny thing about relationship - or what ever you call that stage before the beginning of a relationship (courtship / flirting / etc.) - is that we can’t predict it, eventhough we have read millions of books, heard tonnes of advices, there’s always a sudden turn or obstacle dropping right in the middle of things that make us halt. I hope it goes well with my babes and the guys of their choices (or the guys that are yet to fall in love with them). I AM SO THANKFUL that I did what I did back then - for standing up for my own right and claimed what was supposed to be mine (ok, I know that for those who knows my story, that sentence would sound sleazy. haha..). I guess, if you really want something, GO GET IT. Find ways to get it (or him!), learn from others, do whatever it takes. When you finally get it, you will be more satisfied, as you have put the best effort to achieve it - it is yours because you earn it. But, if you don’t get it, at least you have tried - no regrets over things that you should have done, but did not do.

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Oh ya! I started to watch Brothers and Sisters. Good one. The perfect imperfect family - just like everyone else’s (or at least, mine!). I LOVE MY FAMILY. Yup, we quarelled, we yelled at each other, but what matters most is that we are each other. Aahh..ALHAMDULILLAH..that my mom has recovered from dengue - she was admitted for about a week! I went back home last weekend, sat on the bed with her and laughed at all the funny stories my brother came up with, and the gossips my mom heard from the nurses (seemed like she knew all the causes of admittance of almost all the patients!). It makes a beautiful pictures. At least, we are not that typical solemn faces visitors. No offense lah, but sometimes, all the patient needs are some cheers, smiley faces - good encouragement. Depends on the illness lah. I just don’t want mom to feel lonely and bored (as she already was because my silly sister left her eye-glasses at home, so she was unable to read) being there alone, with nothing to do (and no tv as well), surrounded by sick people.

Good. Things are good. I am concentrating on the good things. I guess, there is a silver lining - and I am seeing it. (smile)

I saw my blog’s tagline - see the silver lining - yeah, right. What if the cloud’s too dark? What if a twister is coming? What if it’s raining too heavy that no other colors than dark moody bleak grey is all you can see? If there is a silver lining, I can’t see it now..

My gratitude list:

1. Thank you to my cacti for surviving my stage 2 dementia. [it's like that, isn't it? You forgot to water your plants or change the water in the bowl of the spider plants, but one day, when you suddenly remember, you take a look at it, and hey! they are doing well, and you decided that they can wait a little while longer. Don't do that. If that's how you treat your plant, it is most likely, will be how you are going to treat your relationship. Don't wait.]

2. I’m thankful to BTN, for deciding to have it during this week, so that Mr Ponnu give us a day off.

3. Thanks to Linda for hiring me! Yeay! You help me A LOT! [see, sometimes, not only the closest people you had with you can help you. Help can come from anybody!- yes, arfah. good..keep on believing that.]

4. I’m glad that the cult assignment only need brief writing. So that I managed to finish it early. Four pages! Loving it!

5. I’m still breathing, aren’t I? More time to make myself a better person. Thank You!

I’m starting a new routine of listing 5 things that I’m grateful about that day.

Yesterday: 22 Jan 2008

I am grateful:

1. when I managed to get a parking space (it is damn hard to get one in KL!)

2. when the children actually responded well to my challenge - and they proved that they can learn. Nothing beats the feeling I had yesterday, when Afnan counted 1-2-3 out loud and get the answers right - and when Farahin and Faiz FINALLY understand how to round numbers.

3. for I still have a partner to love me (I hope) even after the shoutings and yelling and crying…

4. that Reen made a proposition that eases my guilt and keeps me company, for twice a day everyday we got class. Thanks, dear.

5. that I have clothes on my back, food to eat and few RMs more in my wallet to keep my car going..