“sehr sub”

It has been a year now.

I’d like to go on a holiday, going places that I don’t have to worry about my students or work. Going places that I can totally relax. Relax to the maximum.

I’d like to spend more time with my friends. Laughing on silly things.

I’d like to wake up smiling after a good night sleep. Snuggling in my comfy bed, thinking about what to have for breakfast.

I’d like all that ~~ The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that one day, I’ll have them all. I don’t ask for grand things, just all that, in a normal dose. I’d appreciate life more.

*sigh*
 
                                             

I share the humiliation as well. Because there’s a UNIMAS chop on her forehead. What the heck did she think? Cancelling at the last moment. She doesn’t even cancel it, in the first place! My student had to call her - asking about her arrival (because it was getting late & she didn’t come yet). Just then did she tell my student that she’s not coming. Who does she think she is?! Raising her "primadona" voice to my student. Saying that she is busy with career fair and everything. Sape je org bekerja dalam dunia ni yang tak busy?! She has made committment to come and she didn’t come. Giving excuses and all. The worst thing was, she didn’t even call to cancel in the first place! We wouldn’t mind if she’d cancel it earlier. Ni tak, come the event, she said nothing about it - baru nak cakap - itu pun lepas my student called her. She was an ex-UNIMAS and she acted like some cheap, unintelligent person who knows nothing about programs! Quoting from my colleague, "How on earth did she become a counselor?". Sheeesh! Shame on her! Saying that she hadn’t get the cheque la. We don’t mind about the cheque - it was a matter of procedure je. The payment can come later. I was so dissapointed with her. Most dissapointed when she didn’t make an effort to call to cancel earlier. We have paid for the rooms and everything and because of her, the room goes to waste. If she had said it earlier, we would be able to cancel the room! I never thought that she will take that action. She seemed professional and I believe that she believes in ethics. Now that she did that, I started to doubt her. I like urm, I liked the way she works. I always thought that once she entered the working world, she’ll be a good worker. Considerate and professional. Huh! A true primadona she is. Betul kata mama.

People has little trust in UNIMAS graduates. I’ve been striving to give good names for UNIMAS, and then came this ridiculous person and spoil everything.

[Maafkan jika blog ini berbau kutukan. Semuanya lahir dari perasaan tidak puas hati yang wujud disebabkan tindakan sesuatu pihak yang tidak bertanggungjawab.]

Hello me! =)
Last night Kak Gee and family came to my cosy little place to have discussion about her program next week. The juniors from UNIMAS also came for the thing. Wani, Syima and Izah. We ate satay sponsored by Kak Gee. It was good to have little reunion like that. The kids (Wani, Syima and Izah) told us about their nervousness to enter the career world. They complained about not being able to hold or join programs outside the organisation they are having internship. Poor them. Those who came later always have to suffer from what the previous people did. I believe it’s because of the previous batch / batches, doing most of the counseling sessions and programs outside the organisation he /she was assigned to. Some people just do things without thinking and without considering other people. Selfish people they are. Mama has also e-mailed me and warn Priya not to do any other program outside MMU. Poor girl. Mama is right, anyway. If one is assigned to a certain organisation, the responsibility should be for that organisation. Services should be given there. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Lydia, congratulations again. Haha! I can’t wait! =) Kept thinking about it.

Dear Hajar, please don’t be sad. Have faith and never stop praying for the good things. Your time will come.. I’ll design good dress for you ya.

Dear Lely who was there the earliest. Thank you for the company and with the help of ironing & the tudung thingy. Haha. That goes to Nad as well. Without both of you, it might take the whole day to get it settled. To the ever so hardworking Yah, I really appreciate your help in the kitchen.

Syiefa, Hajar and Shar, thank you so much for adding zest to that day!

It was small and simple, just the way we like it. Thanks everyone!
p/s : pics please…You guys are my ONLY sources for the pictures of the day.

Yesterday went bad. It was busy as always. Having to think and manage the career fair + apc thingy is not easy. On top of that, there is this open day matter. And…out of nowhere, there is this stubborn company’s representative came and made this office like their own. Huh! En Shah was upset, I was upset, even Priya got upset with their rudeness. I just ignore them and Priya had to attend to them. En Shah was gone as soon as they came into the office. We have explained to them politely that we can’t attend them at the moment because the campus is pretty busy with events. We are going to have Career Fair early next month, so we invited them to join. But, with reason that they have joined the Melaka campus’s career fair, they just want to do the interview here, like, now. Very rude indeed. They didn’t even look at me when I entered the room and they just sit there at En Shah’s desk like they own it. I hate people that have no respect to others. The reason we said that the time is rather inappropriate for them to run the interview is because the students are busy with classes and also various programs going on campus, and in such a short notice, it is not easy to get students to come for the interview. So, out of their stubborness, they came and ran the interview today. I think, only 5 students came. Huh. Then this young lady (who dressed like she’s going to a club yesterday) came and keep pushing Priya to give out the flyers and asked her to announce it in class. Giler ke ape! No civilisation!

But that was yesterday.

Today had been good so far. A very close friend of mine (I will not disclose her here - not sure whether she wants others to know or not) called and told me a great news. Hehe. I can’t wait, dear!

I’ve also received some funny news and I kept thinking about it the most wicked way I can. It really amused me when people (who I thought despise me) are still being nosy to know about me, my whereabouts, etc. Cool! Clearly now that they are jealous of me. (evil laugh). Well, if they truly hate me, why bother digging stories about me? Maybe the stories will make their day. Maybe by creating juicy gossips and assumptions about me make them feel good about themselves. Dah la perasan. Even if I say the things out of my experience or out of my own reflection towards myself, she feels like I was talking about her and then she will say harsh things about me (well at least I knew she was talking about me because she quoted my exact words!). Sarcastic people. I hope I’m not being sarcastic, I’m just pouring out my wicked feeling towards some people’s behavior towards me. Sape soh sebok2 kacau rumah tangga orang. (evil laugh again).

I’m in jolly mood at the moment. Going home ~~~~
Have a good weekend everybody! =)

The first time I felt jealous was when my mom gave birth to my sister. The exact moment was when one of my aunt said "Hah! You are no longer the only girl in the family. Soon, you will have to share with your sister". I felt the pang of jealousy at that very moment.

[Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a
rival. This rival may have no knowledge of threatening the relationship.]

The feelings went away as I grew up, but I do have to share my room with my sister. She’s a mess! Everytime I went home, the room looks like it has just been hit by a tornado. Crumpled clothes at one corner, books at one corner. You won’t dare to open her cupboard since everything will fall out of it and it will took you ages to push everything in it again. However, she is the source for the stationery that I would be needing from time to time, the waitress if I am to lazy to fill up my glass, the one I shouted at if anything goes wrong in my room. I’m a terrible sister - at times. This little sister of mine, she’s cleverer than me, and I guess, she’ll grow up being prettier than me. Her height, her fairness, her words would probably charm anyone. She’d be grumpy after a long tiring shopping spree, she rarely reads except comics, her words can be pretty harsh sometimes, she talks too much and she’s active in sports! She’s absolutely definitely nothing like me. So, I figured, long ago, that I have nothing to be jealous of her. My brothers and me, used to (uh, sometimes, still do) manipulate our dad by using her. If we felt like having special meal for dinner, we asked her to tell daddy that she wants it. It was very easy to convince her that she would love the meal - and ayah would buy anything for her. She’s the pet.

I was in my teen when I experience envy. I have friends who either has everything or has all the lucks in the world. They get everything they ever wanted. Everybody seemed to know and like them. I was this nerdy girl with big glasses, burying her nose into the books.

[Envy is an emotion that "occurs
when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and
either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.]

As I entered my late teenage years, I crossed upon another jealousy - envy situation. It robbed me off of a good friendship. But that time around, it was not me who is doing the "green-eyed monster" work. It was someone else. I did some "should not try this at home" bashing and revenge. I went into depression. It was as if my heart was stomped by an elephant and it crushed under its humongous feet. I was left to rot alone under the hot sun. There I was standing in the middle of nowhere, reaching out to no one. (Hehe..more exaggerations). But, truthfully, that was exactly how I felt. I was ditched, I was insulted, I was hurt that I felt my self-esteem was never THAT low. I believe that there is always two sides of everything. So, I guess, the person or persons that was involved in that rivalry might be feeling the same (but I doubt it, since it was that person’s idea to leave me hanging out the bus’s window while it was going on 90mph). Anyway, I survived the blues. I emerged in a more peaceful surrounding and more great friendships.

I learned a lot, though. I learned that I have great friends, and I am so honoured to have them. I have made many mistakes in my life. Big and small. What I think is the most valuable thing I have learned is that I have to be responsible to what I have done, whether it is right or wrong. I learned not to put the blame on others. Those blues days of mine, I had it, because I chosed to be depressed. I chosed to be insulted, I chose to be left alone. Oklah, I did not chose to be insulted and left all alone, but I chose to feel whatever feelings that came due to the incident. I dwelled on it too much.

Now, though I know, there are some determined souls out there who set to make my life miserable, I won’t fall for it. I have a great life. Job that pays me well. Family that loves me dearly. Friends that are sincere. Boyfriend that trusts me. They are not perfect. My life sucks when I don’t get to rest on weekends and missing out on family and friends outings. My job gives me headaches from time to time and I took it out on my boyfriend (not good). My friends have their flaws, gave me bad advices - Haha..I’m eligible to that also. My boyfriend have his little flaws and scolds me for not listening to him. They are not perfect. But they have shown the qualities that I think is a lot better, that I believe I should keep them as my most treasured possession. In return, I offer them the best of me. Well, I try to..

[Definitions are compliment of Wikipedia]

I believe, this year has brought many good things, especially to my beloved counseling colleagues of Batch 2, graduates from UNIMAS.

I believe the elder brothers of ours, Abg Din & Abg Husai are perfectly happy with their family and resuming their life, offering their loyal services to JPJ. Abg Din is currently doing his master degree in Human Resource. Maybe he has found a way to overcome the thinning of his hair. Hehehe..

Abg Midie has just started his days of being a Pegawai Anti Dadah. Working in the HQ at the IOI Putrajaya. Cool office! Currently he is still thinking about his future here in Semenanjung. I’d love to have him here. Boleh kami celebrate birthday sama2. Hahaha. But he’s missing his wife & kids.. Yesterday he sms-ed me, asking my whereabouts. He must be bored to death. Unfortunately, I was on my way back to MMU from UTM Skudai. Nak gi shopping agaknye..

Kak Asma has just tied the knot last November. I guess, she has already had all that she wants. It’s about time, as well. Working as a counselor in UUM, a husband and a peaceful life.

Kak Ina..The sweet, sweet Kak Ina is in Kedah at the moment. Undergoing her courses to become a teacher. She’ll make a good teacher, I reckon. She has that motherly looks, very caring..I’d love to have her around.

Kak Anum, I believe, is happily married with his dearest husband. I did not hear many things about her, but if I’m not mistaken, she’s also undergoing the courses to become a teacher soon.

My dearest Kak Gee. I thought people change when they are married, but Kak Gee is till Kak Gee. Haha. Playing a role as a counselor in KUIS, a mother and a wife, she is still as animated, as kalut as she was. I’m so greatful to have known her and consistently talking to her for almost 7 years now.

A presumed Kak Mila is happy, living in Langkawi. She has started to work as a counselor in Kedah MRSM early this year. Hehe.. I stil remember her ym-ing me asking about programs and ideas of activities and demanding it right away. It was stressful at that time, but today, it seems funny. Kalut betul!

Kak Teh is heard, working as a counselor in ..argh! I forgot! I remembered her husband is in Labuan and that she’s somewhere far from her husband. Poor Kak Teh..

My favorite Kak Siti..She’s in Tanjung Malim now. PLKN it is! Hehe.. Masih kah?

Kak Ita is getting married!!! Hehe..She’s a nurse in Kg Baru. I guess she’s working in the GH.

Zira is doing great as a Timb. Komanden in Rawang. I guess.

Lydia is in UNITAR. Teaching counseling subjects and having headache everyday. Hehe..Dear, we all have it.

Madam Ruhi, I haven’t heard many from her. Being a mommy is taking up most of her time I guess. if I’m not mistaken, she’s teaching now.

Ms Voon Miaw Thin. She’s here at last, close to the one she loves. Hehe. Miaw is currently in KL, working in Institut Sosial Malaysia. We’ll meet up ya later, Miaw. Settle down dulu..

Faridah is a counselor in MRSM Pontian. Mesti bersemangat tu! =) Though we hailed from the same place, I rarely see her around. Always busy with her clinic schedule the last time around.

Mr Jeffery Apdal is a teacher, I believe. He’s a teacher at heart. He’s probably everyone’s favorite at school. Both teachers and students. Charming as he is..

Rashid is in Sibu? Eh? Somewhere in Sarawak. Asyik je tanye bile nak nikah. I’ll wait for you la, dear Rashid…

Rosfaizal married the girl of his dream last January. Doing great in SME Bank. Loaded with full spirit, I take it. Hehe..

Ms Aniza Adil and Ms Swanty Suhaili, teachers in Sarawak. I don’t remember the exact place, but somewhere in a distant. Hehe..They are perfect together. The hobbits of Counseling. Haha - I’m the one who took a different route.

Izzah is a counselor in MRSM Melaka. Every weekend, she’ll be happily driving her car back to Keramat. Hehe…Funny la you, ijah…

Dada in daze… The last time I heard, she’s working in Lot 77. Good for you, dear! Get out of those daze! I pray for your happiness and success!

Mardellen o’ Mardellen.. and Kak Amy, I lost you guys!!! Di manakah?

I pray for everyone’s happiness & success!

and then there was me..here. Happy as I should. It has been a year here, I’ve never imagine I’ll love working here, but the people are great. Especially my division. My boss has entrusted me with events and huge responsibilities. Not that I like it, but at least,  I can learn from the experience. I had nothing to boast about my work. I believe everyone work as hard, busy and taking on big responsibility. So, that makes me an ordinary person. I’ve seen people who work harder than me. I had the bestest friends ever, those who are sincere and have faith in me. My family offers me the support that I need. In addition to that, I have a caring man loving me everyday. I am happy. Blissfully happy.