“sehr sub”

We love having someone else with us on weekends. Last weekend, we managed to get Syiefa to come with us. The conversation was livelier - at least we have something else to talk about. We accompanied Syiefa to buy millions of clock (exaggeration at hand). I really like her idea of having clocks at every angle of her house, including the bathrooms. Hehe..Muq kept teasing her about it. Then, we stopped by her house to borrow some DVDs. I have watched The Break Up and didn’t like it, esp. the ending. But I love Bridget Jones: Edge of Reasons. Maybe I’ll watch the Casanova one, tonight, or the Lake House.

I spent the night at Kak Gee’s. Calling me around Maghrib asking me to accompany her because of some eerie reason. Luqman is really adorable. I have never met a baby that smile that much. I guess he inherits it from her mother. So, Sunday was supposed to be the meeting Kak Gee called for. But in the end, it was just Kak Gee, Abang Midie and me who were available. Better that way, since Kak gee cancelled it at the last minute. So, Muq and I fetched Abang Midie and we went for lunch. Later, we played tour-guide for Abg Midie. Showed him Kajang town, took him to Alamanda and began the search for a backpack - "untuk bawak jalan ke KL" Abg Midie claimed. When all in vained, we went to SK Jusco and there,  Abg Midie finally bought the bag. I think he bought it more because he was already tired of going in and out of shops. Haha. We had a very refreshing conversation with him. Main topic: Government. Haha. I never thought I will engross in such conversation. But, I did.

In my last post, I posted a picture, but only half of it was shown..and I intend to leave it that way. It’s a nice picture anyway.

I bought a new bedsheet, last Sunday. I always love sleeping in fresh sheets. But I still had sleepless night. Too much to think about, I guess.

For instance, there’s this thing that coming. The family thingy. Once it’s settle, I believe (with some future-advices from a close friend) that there is more to come (that will put me in a very hard situation). I despise thinking about it. This close friend of mine, she has this, (should I call it talent?) this thing lah, that whatever she says, it will sort of come true. Logically, it is more because the advices she had were based on her experiences. But, I do believe her. It is easy to forsee that, anyway. Logically. Well, THAT worries me. I am anxious, well, the better word is excited about this family thingy. It started to become an anxiety when I started to think about what the not-too-distant future hold.

Then, my mind did this roundabout stuff. I call it roundabout because I keep circling that one thought. It is no more a junction. Haha. So many "what if"s. I am afraid that I will not be strong enough to fight for what I really want. What I am most afraid of is if I change my mind and alter it to believe in whatever people say. (Note: People  = family). I had history of following through my parents’ order since I was a child (basically, that is what children do, but sometimes, children needs to make their own decision, am I right?). Like that time when I have finished reading the Quran (khatam) for the 2nd time - with this Ustazah that I was really comfortable with. My dad forced to learn it all over again with this Ustaz (who happened to be his friend who just decided to open kelas mengaji). Despite my full schedule of 2 schools during the weekdays and co-curriculum on Saturdays morning - which left me only Saturday afternoons and Sundays to wash my school shoes, iron 4-6 sets of school uniforms, do my homeworks (and those days, teachers gave tonnes of it) and my needs to watch tv - I had to belajar mengaji again. I thought that it was inappropriate (hehe) for me to spend my already packed time to learn something that I have already know. Child’s thought. Anyway, thank God that the Ustaz was doing it hangat tahi ayam style. I didn’t even get to finish 1 surah when we stopped going to his places. But the point is, all the while, my heart was not happy doing it. I did it because I was forced. I never like it when I had to do things that I am forced to. No one likes it. So, when I grew up, I choose which university I would go - without consulting my parents. I chose what program I want to study - without consulting my parents. Hehe. I knew that disapproved look on my dad face when I said I was accepted to UNIMAS, going to do Counseling. He said, what work will await me once I graduated?! I don’t know, but I love the idea of me learning Counseling, maybe I’ll become a counselor. My dad stopped complaining when I graduated with quite above average grades (compared to my previous history). He then, started to look for other things to complain.

And I am going to displeased him once more. I would love to follow their suggestions, but, if I don’t do it now, who knows when I will get to do it. Opportunity is knocking now, I believe I should answer it. It tears me, but I just have to do it.  Sorry everyone, this is my life, anyway. Let me make the decision, ok?

Anyway, I have a great parent. No matter how much they disagree with me, I am still well fed. Some things are being taken care of. I admit that I took advantage of them, a bit. Only a tiny, weeny bit. Minute.

I’m going to miss Muq’s birthday this year. Sorry, love. But we’ll see each other on the 10th ya.. I’ll make it up to you.

Mas’s birthday is around the corner. I am yet to send her the wedding gift, and now have to find a birthday gift pulak.. Eed’s birthday is to follow..Then it’ll be Muq’s, Abg Fairus’s and Kak Gee’s. Gosh!

En Omar has just place a plate of Nasi Lemak and a plate of kueh at the round table. Left-over of the meeting with UTP this morning. Am listening to this song which I don’t know the singer, but the song sounds familiar. Outside the room, I can hear Abg Lan’s conversation with Mr Anamalai. He’s here claiming for his check. Huh! One can really make a fortune out of bus business.

It’s another Friday. I really like it when students are on their semester break. There is less stress. Haha. But I do miss those who often come to the office. Azza just leaved for her lunch. She’s always the one with the hot stuffs. Haha. She just told me about her trip to Genting during CNY, how the cars were crawling up the hill. She can even make boring things like that as interesting. This girl has the gift of cheering people of.

Tomorrow, I’m having a meeting with Kak Gee and some other friends - at McD. Expecting some laughters & reminiscing the good old times.

Assuming my life goes up to 100 years, I’m already closing up the first quarter. At this moment, it does feels like I have gained so much experience. And yet, still realizing that I haven’t learn much. To me, the days are like the classes. Classes that start as soon as I open my eyes in the a.m. and end as soon as I rest my eyes in the p.m. (or sometimes, another a.m.). If God willing, there are a lot more classes to attend to. Decision making is like the exams student have at the end of the semester. Grades depend so much on how we answer the questions. Most of it was an open book exam. The answer is already there, I just have to search the true meaning of it. For an indecisive person (yeah, me), deciding on matters is the toughest of all tasks (which reminds me, I have to start thinking about what to have for dinner tonight!). Fighting the best I can to swim away from the overwhelming stress that might drown me. If I fail, it will take extra great effort to deny it and start thinking of things like "there’s got to be something good out of it" or "maybe it was meant to be that way, so I better get use of it". But, if I happen to succeed from drowning, (whether it leave me floating on the surface or I manage to get to a safer place and get myself dry) other matter awaits for me. The result of my decision making, (whether it’s suitable or not) will eventually take me to higher level - or stay on the same level, until I make some ammendments. This is when experiences came in. Experiences of learning the hard way, failing, mistakes, disappointments - or appreciation, love, honesty, good relationships, success.

I bet most of you who are reading this have had your brain twisted in a peculiar way.
Sorry la geng. I was just expressing my complicated mind. What I’m trying to say is, once I made a decision, even after a thorough consideration, things go haywire! There is always people to oppose my decision, at least, making me feels like I’m not doing the right things. In the end, I have to hold on to my believe that, it’s my life and I make the choices - though it is a VERY hard thing to do. To go against others is not an easy thing to do. There’s a disadvantage of it la..Once something goes wrong, I am so out of people to blame for. I made the decision, it’s my responsibility if it does not fit in the picture. 

*sigh*

Have a good weekend, everybody! =)

Happy things in life often come in the smallest way ~~~
Like a whole cherry on my ais kacang.. Taktau la apa mimpi abang tu nak bagi whole cherry today. He even decorated it nicely. On top of my ABC, he generously splashed some sweet corns, and in the middle of it, a whole red cherry. I never got a whole cherry on my ABC. Haha..Sweet. So, that guy actually made my day! =)

So does my friends’ reaction over my little announcement. Haha..Maybe nadia is still searching for the "fainting" icon. Haha…

My ex-lecturer (still a teacher to me, at heart), said that he was proud of me. For making a bold decision over my life. See mister, I can surprise you, can’t I? I once told you about my goal, though I was delaying it, my spirit is still there.

Today has started well, and I’m still sailing! =)

I see a lot of dead catterpillar on the staircase. Poor guys..Didn’t even get to move on to the next phrase of life. Well, people say, be careful when going into uncharted water. What are they doing on the staircase anyway..? But then again, they are no people, maybe they haven’t heard of the saying. Poor baby catterpillars.

The butterfly season has begun! =) Another world’s beauty.

Refreshed and full of spirit, to start the day with. Charge!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe everyone else is as good as new, since it has been a looooong and joyful holiday. Well, friends, rise and shine! =) I bet you guys have tonnes of works to be done. Haha. Here goes again.

Anyway, my family came for 2 days, to stay at my ever-so-humble apartment. I’ll move in to one with an elevator - soon. Haha. Those who has been to my little place would have better understanding. So, I didn’t go back to my beloved home sweet home - missing my friends there, esp. ain ~ and roibo. Laily, I have something to tell you!

Now, the day will start with our routined tazkirah at 9am. Fast forward to 10am, I’m supposed to have an appoinment with whatever-the-name-of-the-company (I can’t remember cos I forgot to bring my planner to work). I’ll be starting on replying email at about 10.30am and continue doing work for the rest of the day. Huh! In the middle of that busy-ness, gather all the conference girls for the news update. Geng tingkapku. I guess, I should start looking for the materials for tazkirah now.

Happy day, friends! =)
p/s: Happy belated Chinese New Year for all friends and family (hehe..), Happy belated birthday for Asma! You are 25! Be a doctor, already!

Cuti!!!!!!!!!!!

Planning for :
Friday = Pay bills, clean apt, breakfast with Cik Mina, Dinner with En Muq
Saturday = Wake up late, breakfast with En Muq, bath for si mulut busuk, wait for my family to come, send En Muq to Bus-stand.
Sunday = spend whole day with family
Monday = send off my family, watch tv the whole day & night.
Tuesday = breakfast alone, maybe spending most of the time staring at the wall, fetch en muq

and back to my usual calendar.. This might be the only weekends I had for myself, might as well enjoy it - before it get crammed again.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! It’s piggy year this time around - may all the money keep filling in our bank accounts. Small kids can start with piggy banks.

Waiting for the day to come when it will be confirmed. I’m hoping for the best.

Happy Holidays, everyone! =)
~weeeeeeeeee~

We reached the Cyber Campus at 1.30am. I was damn tired, lacked of sleep and it was the feeling of irritation over little things that don’t go the way I want that made me more and more miserable than ever. I slept the whole way home. ehem - I slept as soon as I rested my butt on the car seat. Poor Muq had to pick me at campus, send me to Kajang and went back to SK - and I didn’t even smile at him. The only conversation I had with him was "Nape tak tolong angkat?!!" and some disagree sound I made  when he told me to take the throw pillow at the back seat. I can be very bitchy when I’m darn exhausted. Sorry, dear.

I slept as soon after I brushed my teeth, washed my face and set the alarm. Then at 2.40am I woke up to read Muq’s sms telling me that he has reached home. I insisted on him to sms me everytime he reached home. I replied "OK" and immediately went back to sleep. I woke up at 6.30am and started this grumpy mood. Suddenly I developed some rashes on my body. So, I spent most of the toilet-time scratching. Grumpy grumpy.

I got grumpier (is there such word?) when the cars in front of me started to crawl, and eventually, I was also crawling  as slow as siput babi, all the way from the RM1 toll (which I don’t remember the name) to Putrajaya exit. The 20 minutes drive to work was prolonged to 1 hour because of the accident at Putrajaya exit (the cause of the jammed must be the morons who drived slowly to watch the accident - nak tengok, berenti tepi la!). I hate people who especially drive slowly to watch accidents and cause slow traffics and those who sms-ing while driving on the fast lane, also causing slow traffics and sometime, the car sway from right to left, causing disturbance to the next lane and irritation and anxiety to the car which is tailing behind. Stupidos!

If it’s not because of the Open Day meeting scheduled at 11 this morning, I would still be on bed, sleeping. I hate Mondays. Especially today! - Priya even made a little comment on me being not in the mood.

By now, the grumpiness level decline by 1%.

Morning / Afternoon / Evening,
I’d like to share this with all of you (who read my blog). Got it from E’ed. Thanks, dear. I posted it here  for everyone. I can’t help but typing my thoughts under some phrases. Hehe.

"Many people will walk in and out of your life,
But only true friends would leave footprints in your heart"
[some certain people who come to your life for a few moment pun boleh leave a deep mark in your life]

"To handle yourself, use your head,
To handle others, use  your heart."

"Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you once, it’s his fault,
If he betrays you twice, it’s your fault."

"Great mind discuss ideas,
Average mind discuss events,
Small mind discuss people."
[The first time I heard this quote is from Mama. It was the first mentor-mentee day in UNIMAS! I like it. It's true anyway.]

"He who loses money, loses much;
He who loses friends, loses much more;
He who loses faith, loses all."
[Agree. Money is easy to find, friends are investments, but faith is everything.]

"Beautiful
young people are accidents of nature,
But beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn
from the mistakes of others
You can’t live long enough to make them all
yourself."

Got this from Lydia. I don’t know why I answer surveys. Maybe to kill the time. But mostly, I guess, is because, I like answering those silly questions. Hehe..

1.who’s the last person in ur inbox?

- Kak gee asking me to call her, something urgent. (it turned out that she’s having a flat tyre so she couldn’t meet mama today)
2. sport you did last?
- what sport?

Hehe. The last adventures thing I did was probably the obstacle, with the UPG (didn’t even finish the course! Haha)
3. last movie you watched?
- Gosh! So long ago. What was it, Bie? Even tak ingat pun! Maybe it was "CINTA", along with Ayuni.
4. what do people first notice when
they meet you?
- Maybe the exagerated smile or my petite-ness
5. do you like peanut-butter?
- who doesn’t? Peanut butter, especially with the small chunks of peanut. Nyum nyum..
6. do you read comics?
- Used to, the japanese comics and then figured out, why paying huge sum of money for sketches?! Hehe..
7. how pretty/handsome is your crush?
- crushed.
8. do you like earthquakes?

- err..does anyone likes earthquakes?  why am I answering this anyway.
9. worst nightmare?
- people figuring out my filthiest habit. (haha)
10. favorite coffee place?
- anywhere for a good cup of coffee. I think I’ll have one today.
11. wanna be happy?
- Yes. Eternally - Here & the Hereafter.
12. your current school close friends?
- school? Ain, Nadia, Mas, Yah, Sf, Hana, Hajar. University: K.Gee, Lydia, K. Ina.
These are the ones on top of my list.
13. most people would describe me as:
- depend on the person perceiving  it.  I’ve had people telling me that I’m manja, bossy, nice, naive, cute, pucat, hard. Depend also on who I’m dealing with. I can be cruel, sometimes.
14. one thing you hate about yourself:
- bila nangis mata bengkak macam hape!and I’m very easy to cry..
15. vegetable/s you hate?
- I think, I only consume cabbage, carrot, spinach, beans, long-beans, turi. Erm, I do hate taugeh!!
16. do you like to go out on shopping
trips?
- definitely.
17. favorite person in the world?
- aiya! So many. Can’t decide. one person per category. Hehe.
18. can you act?
- I’m always the one blowing it off! Haha, sorry Nad & geng, nasib baik cepat cover.
19. favorite past-time?
- Reading non-stop.
20. are you happy?
- YES! For a certain reason. Mostly because of the company I had with me.
21. what is the worst rumor you’ve
heard?
- That I’m marrying the son of a millionaire & migrating to UK. *spread it!!!*
22. what time is it now? 9.21am

23. first thing you do when you wake
up?
thinking "what?! morning already?" - try to smile, but mentally dreaded waking up.
24. where are you right now?
- sitting on my chair at my desk of my office.
25. what are the things you like to do
now?
- have nescafe!

26. are you ok now?
- now? Ok la so far..
27. how many drinks before you get
really drunk?
- I don’t know and never going to find out, I guess.
28. which of the foreign
actors/actress do you like?
- One too many..

29. what is love to you?
- Acceptance & trust.
30. are u missing someone?
- not at the moment.

I thought Sf’s house was so so so hard to find (from the way Nad & Hana explained, it seemed hard anyway). But it turn out that it was damn easy to find. Haha. Kalut betul.

So there we were, standing in front of the front door waiting for Sf to come in. Well, we managed to get the food served on the table (with periuk nasi and all). So, Hana was holding the cake (very sweet one, I tell you), and everyone else was waiting in eagerness. Once the door opened, Hajar came in - she was supposed to be the actress - and she did well, anyway. Later came Yuana, Mimi and her friend. When Sf finally entered, we shouted - SUPRISE!! Haha. It was the look in her face. She wasn’t expecting anything like that, I guess. Then someone shouted something about singing a birthday song - and Hana hold us back from singing with "weh, belom la. lagi 20 minit." Hahahaha…Early surprise la Sf!

There, on the table, with the cook-master duo, Nadia’s & Hana’s expertise in frying nuggets, drummets and "kentang malaysia" (later, we found out that it was ubi goreng! laugh again! hahaha). Nak save budget punye pasal, terbeli ubi instead of fries. Some nasi and tomyam (Azie’s dinner actually), spaghetti, the birthday cake and air ribena, complimentary from Sf’s sister. After some photography sessions at the dining table, we huddled together in front of the telly for the prize giving ceremony.

One by one (or should I say by five as well? since Hajar is sharing the gift with other 4 friends. Haha) handed out their contributions of little but meaningful gift to Sf. As predicted by Sf (as soon as Nad handed her the red ribbon "ni lipstic kan??!!! Korang pakat bagi aku make up heh!"), it was all make-up items. So, as directed by Hajar, there sat Sf for the make-over. I was just sitting on the couch, watching them. Part of it was because I just love being the narrator / observer; and part of it was because I’m a sleepyhead. Hehe. But, the session was full of belly-laughing activities. Thanks, girls. I haven’t had those kind of laughters for quite a long time. Those laughters that leave you with a stitch. Then, as the night crept in (to morning actually), we climbed on the bed to sleep - but not before another session of laughs.

It was absurd! But the kind of insanity that I love. Thank you Sf, for the hospitality and the gentle reminder such as, to switch on (see the light) and switch off and switch on again (no light) for the heater. I didn’t use it that morning. Terlupa cos as soon as I woke up, Muq has sms-ed telling that he’s on his way (and it was 20 minutes past "he’s on his way".) Hehe..sorry to have woke you up so early in the morning. And a little regret for not having the chance to eat Hajar’s Nasi Goreng. Sudah la Jar, nasi goreng konon. She was still sprawling on the mattress when I left.

Thanks for inviting me - for a great time of total absurdity!
The most magical thing I see is the beauty of our friendship. May we will still be together as long as we live.